Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Are you happy? that is the question

When my siblings and I are grown, we went our separate ways but met up on any occasion at my parents. Since we had jobs that took us away from the nest, we could hardly sat and chat and talk about our lives. We only asked about each others health and family and never really asked if anyone of us happy or unhappy with our choice of life.

Nowadays when we can communicate on the internet we could really ask each other without feeling intruding. The other day my younger sister asked me if I was happy with my choice of life. She had assumed that I am doing fine and happy with my life, but she said now she wants to ask directly.
I was glad to report that I am doing fine and am happy with my current lifestyle. I was touch that she asked because it had been in her mind to ask for a very long time, but would not jeopardize the good time we usually had when I was home visiting.

There are many things that can make one happy, the simple things in life can trigger such happiness that one can never imagine. I love the tranquility of life in the rural area that might freak out some people. The sounds of the locust in the nights, the cry of the coyotes or the hoots of the owls.

My life is at a very slow pace compared to the hustle bustle of the city lights, the only lights we see here at night are the beautiful stars and the moon or occasionally the passing of the international space station. We sometime stay out on the deck to see the meteor showers or the play of the northern lights in the open sky.

In relationship I find that I am more at peace with plenty of room or space to be with myself. I like my independence and freedom to make decisions. I love being married too. There are things that I like to do together and there things I like to do by myself. I was single for a very long time and I loved my life then too. I love the freedom of, nobody can stop me doing anything I like to do. I was only responsible for myself. I did not have to consider anyone's feelings when I made any decision, I was in control.

Some people (women mostly) think that they are not really a woman until they get a man or have babies. I have nothing against them, but I think they have narrowed their scope of happiness to revolve around a man and that is how many get hurt.
Some think that to have babies s the ultimate way to ensure that the marriage is sealed, but look at what is happening today. Men do not give a hoot about leaving their wives and children with no means of supporting themselves and chase skirts. At least the enforcement of the child support law in the US is good, nevertheless some men prefer not to hold on to a job so as not to be traced to pay child support.

In a supposedly Islamic Malaysia, men just walk out of their responsibilities without a blink of an eye. They just leave the wife and children to fend for themselves without a shred of guilt and chase skirts all in the name of Islam. (Islam allows Men to have 4 wives). I blame lack of knowledge of one's religion that makes these irresponsible men be what they are. There are no court decision that can punish them. They should be shamed in public open court so that all can see or whipped with the cane in public for their negligence and irresponsibility.

Men when they start chasing skirts they would do anything to discredit their faithful wife. They would say anything as small as the way she puts food on the table is not the way he likes or the way she cleans the plates are not to his liking. If they are sincere they had all those years to tell yet, they wait until a new SYT comes along. Then everything that they had so good before don't look good anymore.

These are weak men, these are better off to be without. Those women who wanted so much to have these kind of men around are just heading for a heart breaks. I think, I would cut my losses and start anew.

So, are you happy?

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Lest I forget: My new life begun

Meeting new people was not what i could do easily. I was a confident girl where i grew up but when I met so many new people it took me sometime to get adjusted to. There were my classmates who spoke in their dialect that i could not understand and being from the north I had my tongue twisted to speak in the southern accent. It confused me most time as to why they did not speak the standard Malay language.

Adjusting to speak in the southern accent was one, and trying hard to speak English in the classroom was another. I think that was why i kept closed to only a few friends at school.

Living in the dormitory was another task to adjust to. We were in a mixed group of girls from remove Class to Form Five. The older girls tried their best to get us settled in. If i am not mistaken, the first year i was in the boarding school, there was only 25 of us in a dorm. The seniors did a little orientation to get to know us. We were asked to sing i think in the first week of my stay in the third floor of Block A.

The dorm prefect then was Kak Nik Maimunah from Kelantan and Kak Kamaliah from Perak was the deputy if i am not mistaken. Kak Kamaliah could sing could act and very athletic. A very popular senior. She was in form four.

As Kak Kamaliah was very very active in Dramatic Society, she was in charge in orientating us newbies into the dormitory life. I remember how scared i was when the few new remove class in the dorm were made to sing. i think there were only 5 of us. I sang a song made famous by Biduanita Saloma and on the spot I was given a nick name Saloma that lives with me until now. Most of my close friends and classmates and juniors know me as Saloma and kak Saloma. I bet some of them think that it is my real name.

I was made to feel at home by the presence of Kak Jamnah Din and Kak Fatimah Yusuf. Their kampong was not far from my Kampong eventhough there were from Kedah. The last time I heard Kak Jamnah was the Head matron in langkawi Hospital and Kak Fatimah Yusuf was teaching in one of the IPTAs.

Due to the strict rule of the clothes to be brought to school in the initial list, I did not have many change of clothes and I did not know how to tie a sarong, so I was mostly left to wear a few of my skirts and dress after school. A couple of weeks later i think we were issued school uniforms, 3 sets each a pair of PE shorts and a pair of House shorts.

We sent most of our clothes weekly to the laundry company, we called it Dobby day. I sent everything except my undies. The clothes came back nicely starched and pressed.