Hijrah-1

I feel challenged to write my thoughts on hijrah. I feel i need to write about it in relation to everyday life. I am a lazy blogger, but i blog hopped to many. There are blogs that are matured and makes a good reading as well as enlighten my outlook of life. There are blogs that the owners say they write to vent their bottled up frustrations, there are blogs that serve as a life journal to the owners and of course there blogs that are seriously political.

I do read the column di celah-celah kehidupan in Mingguan Malaysia and I feel that those who shared their stories are brave people. They found an avenue to share their unhappiness when there in no one close enough would listen to them. Most of them are women who are mistreated, abused and are left in despair.

Most of the stories are failed marriages. marriages that were built in good faith in the name of Allah. Expectations at the beginning into the marriages were high. The couple that tied the knots were expecting happy ever after.

Women, especially think they can live on love alone. They will marry for love, they stay in a broken marriage for love, they hurt their parents for love. For time in memorial, love does not hold a lot in a marriage. Responsibility, compassions come first in a marriage. Anyway, I almost forget, of course the reasons for getting married itself.

I do wonder if those women did any homework about marriage before they plunged into it. The first thing a person should do is to understand and read about what constitute a marriage, what bind in a marriage. No no no..don't listen to all the uztaz giving the ceramah. Go to the our reference Book. The al-Quran. Go read the surah al-Baqarah. Go to the hadith, but first go to the main source. Understand what marriage is all about. Understand what responsibilities that come with it.

Know the person you want to marry. Know his aspirations, know his bad habits. Know those stuff that would make your marriage gets a hiccup. It does not work when you say you want to marry a religious person, and the guy is so engrossed in his religious thingy that you think would help you. That is a big no no. You have already chosen the wrong guy. You already know that you and family will never be the first in his life. it is himself that is of utmost important to him.
A very selfish person is staring straight into your face.

What is so wrong with relationship is that most women think they can change their spouses character with love and devotion. Get this, that never happens!

For you all the women out there who want a partner in life, use your heads first before plunging into the imagined happy ever after relationship.

I went into marriage with my eyes wide open. I married very late though because it was my choice. I did away with all the cravings that young and impressionable women have first.

Money checked
House checked
Education checked
Car checked
High lifestyle checked
Good job checked
Work fulfillment checked
Travel checked

What i was lacking was a companion to enjoy simple life. The life i would like to share minus his baggage such as debts, emotional and responsibilities other than towards me.

Found one, not rolling in green, but have enough to enjoy the little things together. Simple things that make a day worth counting the blessing.