Rombongan

What is wrong with that word? It used to be alright to use it to mean moving in a group. My mother used to go on a rombongan to Kuala Kangsar in the 60's. I used to go on school rombongan to visit educational places. Nowadays that term has a different connotation. That's what I just realized what a BIG mistake I made. I supposed I could have been forgiven by using that term since I belong to that generation that the word rombongan means something exciting to do with your friends.

I was in transit at Inchon, Seoul recently. We boarded the flight that was heading home to KLIA. Flights on the code sharing, called sky team. I was on Delta from Atlanta (DL), and there were passangers on MH and KE whom actually were sitting on KE aircraft KLIA bound.

I guess I was the only one who originated from Atlanta, GA and terminate at KLIA. When we boarded the aircraft, I could hear a familiar language spoken. Unmistakably, it was my mother tongue that I missed a lot. I was excited to talk to these group of people whom themselves sounded very excited with their trip to Seoul. They were loud and talking about their shopping etc. Some were even talking about making a similar trip to the US namely NYC.

In my excitement meeting this group, I turned around and asked in a very friendly manner "You all ni mai rombongan ka or ikut rombongan?" Then to my utter disbelief, everyone went silent. I did not know what I said that was so wrong. I thought these ladies were rude, they did not answer my question. I thought they did not hear me, I stood up and turned and asked the same question again to give them the benefit of the doubt. Again nobody said anything and I noticed nobody looked at me. Then I was confirmed that orang melayu memang rude.

I only learned later that the term rombongan is only referred to those group travels synonymous with makciks on a bus or coach trip. How out of date I am with my language. I supposed I have offended those ladies making their overseas trip sounded very kampong.

You learn something new everyday, don't you.

Some things just get old

Probably it is just me. I get tired of the same old things. I used to enjoy checking the website that brings together all Malays living away from home country. it was exciting to sit and chat and share our different experiences in our lives adopting our new environment. It was then a place where we share our sorrows, praying and comforting each other giving and having a shoulder to cry on. We extend our moral support. We encourage each other. We were a bunch of friends or more like sisters and brothers.

Things started to change when a group started to dominate the website and of course there were those bad apples. Those religious chauvinists with holier than thou attitude. There were then the subtle rivalry to control the website. The website began to stink and I no longer visit that place where i used to be so much at home. I missed those friends that I made and there are still some I still keep in touch.

I use to blog hop quite a bit, but recently i realized that i only go to some selected ones. I no longer want to know what people write or do that has no connection to my thinking. I do not deny though that I learned quite a bit about human behavior.

I realized that I must have had a very protected life. I am thankful that while growing up, I did not have to struggle for survival. I did not feel that i was deprived of love from my parents or my family even though most of my teenage years were spent in a boarding school. perhaps I was not looking for anybody to blame for my failure or shortcomings. It is so easy to blame someone else for our short comings or failure than to ourselves.

Many people blame their parents, their governments, their schools or everybody else rather than themselves for their predicaments. Actually it is an individual choice to be what we are. If we chose a cup instead of the coffee then do not blame the cup if the coffee is stale.

When I decide to marry someone out of my league (i.e. not wealthy), many question my choice. I did not feel I need to explain my reasons. However suffice to say I enjoy a most sensational flavored coffee in an old mug.

My rememberer is broke (broken)

I got this in an email.

My forgetter's getting better,
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke

For when I'm "here" I'm wondering
If I really should be "there"
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room,
and Say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain!
A zero, is my score.

At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,
Say! "Hi" and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, "who was that?"

Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke.

CAN YOU RELATE???

Hijrah-1

I feel challenged to write my thoughts on hijrah. I feel i need to write about it in relation to everyday life. I am a lazy blogger, but i blog hopped to many. There are blogs that are matured and makes a good reading as well as enlighten my outlook of life. There are blogs that the owners say they write to vent their bottled up frustrations, there are blogs that serve as a life journal to the owners and of course there blogs that are seriously political.

I do read the column di celah-celah kehidupan in Mingguan Malaysia and I feel that those who shared their stories are brave people. They found an avenue to share their unhappiness when there in no one close enough would listen to them. Most of them are women who are mistreated, abused and are left in despair.

Most of the stories are failed marriages. marriages that were built in good faith in the name of Allah. Expectations at the beginning into the marriages were high. The couple that tied the knots were expecting happy ever after.

Women, especially think they can live on love alone. They will marry for love, they stay in a broken marriage for love, they hurt their parents for love. For time in memorial, love does not hold a lot in a marriage. Responsibility, compassions come first in a marriage. Anyway, I almost forget, of course the reasons for getting married itself.

I do wonder if those women did any homework about marriage before they plunged into it. The first thing a person should do is to understand and read about what constitute a marriage, what bind in a marriage. No no no..don't listen to all the uztaz giving the ceramah. Go to the our reference Book. The al-Quran. Go read the surah al-Baqarah. Go to the hadith, but first go to the main source. Understand what marriage is all about. Understand what responsibilities that come with it.

Know the person you want to marry. Know his aspirations, know his bad habits. Know those stuff that would make your marriage gets a hiccup. It does not work when you say you want to marry a religious person, and the guy is so engrossed in his religious thingy that you think would help you. That is a big no no. You have already chosen the wrong guy. You already know that you and family will never be the first in his life. it is himself that is of utmost important to him.
A very selfish person is staring straight into your face.

What is so wrong with relationship is that most women think they can change their spouses character with love and devotion. Get this, that never happens!

For you all the women out there who want a partner in life, use your heads first before plunging into the imagined happy ever after relationship.

I went into marriage with my eyes wide open. I married very late though because it was my choice. I did away with all the cravings that young and impressionable women have first.

Money checked
House checked
Education checked
Car checked
High lifestyle checked
Good job checked
Work fulfillment checked
Travel checked

What i was lacking was a companion to enjoy simple life. The life i would like to share minus his baggage such as debts, emotional and responsibilities other than towards me.

Found one, not rolling in green, but have enough to enjoy the little things together. Simple things that make a day worth counting the blessing.

Hijrah

Hijrah means different things for different people. To most, it was the year the great prophet pbuh moved from the oppressing society in Makkah to a more receptive populace of Madinah. It was the main turning point for the prophet to preach Islam the religion of submission to the highest authority, the one and only Allah. He brought light and knowledge to the people of Madinah and a good government to a multi ethnics, multi religions and multi culture population of the place. There was freedom for the people.

Hijrah to me means moving on from a stagnant life to a more enlighten way of life. I do not mean in religious pursuant only, I mean in our everyday life. The real life. Allah has given us a mind that is so dynamic that can think and make decisions. Allah has given us the al-Quran to read and follow the good path, the correct one, yet the good brain Allah gives us, we misuse it. We build barriers around us. We short change the goodness in the Quran. We use Allah's words in vain. We use Allha's name in vain.

There is no my way or your way in practicing the religion. There is only one way, Allah's way. It pains me to see all those who called themselves good Muslims, actually are not practicing the religion the way it is supposed to be. There is no compassion in their dakwah, no compassions for their wife and children. They are actually very selfish individuals. They wanted so much to be with God, they forget their wives and children. Their duty in this life.

Just because you finished reading the al-Quran 10 times, doesn't mean you know anything about the content or the knowledge in it. You can tell people that my daughter can memorize surah Yassin at 6 years of age and be so proud of it, but do you realize that a child of that age can hardly comprehend anything. To me it is better that i take the Quran out read it a few sentences and understand the meaning of what i read. It takes us a few months for my husband and me to read the first chapter of the Quran with the translation and the explanation to grasp the meaning of the chapter. We still refer to it when we want clarification. At least the part of marriage, property and responsibility are quite clear to us. For us we just want to understand the basic teaching of the great religion. We leave the finer points to those who are more knowledgeable than us.

Well, to me hijrah is a time for us to look aback at our lives and move forward. Have a freedom to think and not be scared to move on.