Beautiful foliage

Colorful leaves that change everyday.

Am I in the Fall of my life?

The days are cooler now as it is the fall season, the season I like best. Leaves are turning into colors. Some are yellow, some are red, some are brown and of course some are still green. Squirrels are every where jumping from one tree onto another as well as crossing the roads. There are of course some casualties when many young squirrels did not look left and right when chasing their lovers. Squirrels mate in the fall and hibernate in winter to have babies just in time for spring.

If Fall is what I am having now, let it be Fall forever. Life is serene and peaceful and blissful. Happy leaves flying off the trees and be blown by the wind in a merry go round. I just want to live this way forever if I could.

I have had my springtime of life, full of anticipation, full of energy just like the spring in Oklahoma. Flowers bloom, garden growing and new leaves turning green. Birds and critters of the woods, mating bringing new life into the world.

Made my hay while the sun was shining in the summer. gather all the fruits and nuts for the coming winter. While in the fall or Autumn, I sit on the hammock all day under the colorful foliage of my big oak tree, watching and admiring the nature that God created; Enjoying the nice crisp weather with the sky so blue.

Winter will come no doubt. I wish i can hold on to Fall a little longer.

The raya it was

Raya means celebration. End of Ramadan is something to celebrate. My husband and I celebrated our end of Ramadan on the last Iftar. The next day the first of Syawal, after prayer, we just did what we always do everyday. There wan't anything special. I did have a webcam conference with my sisters and family in Penang. That was it. It was fun because they had 2 laptops and webcams and everyone was having a good time stuffing their faces with food.

Mimosa for the little visitors

My husband planted the tree just so the tiny humming birds could feed when they come visit every summer from the south.

MY Roo Girl was bitten again

My Roo was bitten by a copper head again last week. Poor girl, her face was swollen so big that she looked like a monster. She drooled and her mouth was kind of flapping. She was in pain and I was advised by the vet to give her benadryl in case she developed an allergy. Praise be to Allah she was alright after a day. Love that dog. She would put herself in front of me and she would protect me when she thinks I am in danger.

Ramadan

We completed our first day of fasting at 7:53pm. The weather was almost good, cloudy and the high temperature for today is 92F.

I did my Tarawih last night, the minimum and InsyaAllah tonight I will too. Surprisingly, I did well on my first day. Usually I would have headache and after breaking the fast i would throw up. Praise be to Allah all went well.

My little kingdom 2

Daun kunyit/tumeric



Okra/bendi or kacang lendir



Tomatoes (leftover dunno what to do with them)



Serai/lemon grass


It is only early August, but my trees are turning colors. Fall is arriving. It has been so hot lately, probably the reason the trees are changing their color to minimize the water consumption.

However today we had a heavy downpour which immediately green my grass and burst or crack whatever left of my grapes on the vines. My plants, I am sure are thankful for the drink and I am thankful too as my water tank is almost full again. (We have a 500 gallon tank collecting water from the roof gutter). Of course, i don't have to water my tress and garden for a couple of days.

I cut some of my tumeric leaves and shred them and dry them in the house, save them for the rainy days when I run out of fresh ones. They keep good dried in the freezer (do not freeze them when still wet). As Ramadan is approaching I am sure I may need them. Since it is fishing time too, I might use them to flavor my ikan bakar, my masak lemak cili api etc.

My little kingdom

The above pictures of my grapevines are for Delicate Flower to see.


People blog about their everyday life, good restaurants to go to, new shoes to buy, office politics, vacations they take. All those gorgeous stuff that make people happy.

People say, once you retire from 9-5 working hours, you will be bored and restless and maybe depress. It did not happen to me. I took my retirement day by day. There was no hurry to get into anything.

Acquiring all those worldly goodies kind of slipped off too once i retired. There isn't any need to buy those branded items to wear or carry or show off. My dogs and chicken will laugh at me I guess if wear or use them. There isn't any pressure to dress up to show off or to brag about where I go to dine, whom I meet or where I go for vacations to keep up with the Joneses. Sound boring huh.

It does not take much to make me happy and contented. I love this little homestead that my husband and I carved. There is nothing much here when we bought it. Whatever we have now are tress and things we grow and create. There isn't much but when you build something with your own bare hands, they sure make you feel good.

My husband built little things for me to be closer to nature. The bird houses to watch what kind of bird come to live. The squirrel houses set up on the huge oak trees for the naughty creatures to keep warm in winter and of course the squirrel feeders and humming birds feeders.

We grow mimosa trees just so the humming birds can come and enjoy the flowers as well as the honey suckles along the fence. My husband also built a small garden patch next to the house so that i can grow my oriental herbs and plants for my kitchen (read: serai, cili api, kunyit, limau nipis, basil etc.)

I get enthusiastic when spring comes, when i get to grow my vegetables seriously. Not so much to eat, but just to see how things grow when you give a little love and care. As usual, I over do it. I plant rows and rows of them and in the end I give them away or just let them go back to fertilize the garden.

Birds having a party

Now I know why every morning when i open the door, i could hear birds singing and sound so happy. They are having an early wine party. They are partying on my grape vines. My grapes have ripen and ready for picking. So yesterday I went and look at them. Indeed they have, but i could not remember which is which, the seedless red Thompson or the black concord as they have twined together. The seedless Thomson has a lighter color and the concord is more purplish. Anyway, now I have them in my big basket. I have to separate them from the raisins though before I turn them into yummy juice.

I plan to turn the juice into jelly later on. For now I am drinking my very fresh grape juice, which is a little tart to the taste buds. I also have fresh tomato juice to drink as my tomato vines are loaded with big juicy ripe tomatoes. For those who have not tasted tomatoes grown and ripen on the vines in Oklahoma's hot summer sun, I cannot even try to describe how fantastic they taste. There is no comparison.

This afternoon while warming my leftover chicken soup, I thought of adding some dumplings into it. I have some round wrappers in the refrigerator, and some cheese plus the chicken meat from the soup. So while my chicken soup was warming up, I threw into the food processor some chicken meat, some onions and some of my squash. I added some ricotta cheese and made into balls and wrapped with the wrapper (wanton). Then i throw them into the boiling soup. They turn out to be tasty.

More fun at the lake

It is the thing for us in the boonies to go out to the water for some fun in the summer. Since we do not have the ocean to jump into, we have many lakes to enjoy. here are more pictures of the Beach clan having fun. Yours truly would not be displayed here as not to invite unsavory comments and menambah dosa org yg menengok.

Rednecks having fun at the lakes

Crayfish,crawfish or crawdad

Cray fish, craw fish or crawdad, they are the same critters. The pond dug out by my husband 2 years ago, are full of those crawly critters. The pond was meant for my dogs to go for a swim especially in the hot summer days. It was meant to be a bigger pond, but due to the ground being wet most of the time and the backhoe and dozer almost got stuck every time, it remains at the original size of 20 X 10 ft.

My dogs do not care for the size, they enjoy it all the time. Buddy will just jump in and out of it a few times everyday when we go for a run. Max just skirt along the side where the water just touches his belly. Roo and Dumdum always swim around it a few times before getting out to shake off the water.

A few days ago, my husband decided to work on the pond again. He pumped the water out to drain the pond to a reasonable level. To our surprise, the pond is full of those yummy critters. I have yet to figure out how to catch them especially those the size of lobsters. Their pincers look mean.

As to how they come to be in the pond, we have a theory. Most probably those migratory birds stop by and drop their food in the pond. Those crayfish eggs must have hatched and create a colony in the pond.

I will post some pictures when I get them.

My garden produce

Early spring vegetables

Strawberry


Collard Greens


Chives


Asparagus


Mint

Clouds

Towering clouds before the storm.

Spring is here again in the boonies

The spring is here.

Shortcut cooking

I am creative when come to cooking my favorite food. I make nasik lemak from leftover rice by sprinkling salted coconut milk and adding slices of ginger and onion. Microwave it for 2 minutes and I have nasik lemak.

I make curry mee by adding coconut milk to maggi instant noodles (curry flavour). Of course I add dried tofu, shrimps and vegetables. If I don't have maggi mee with curry flavor, I just use any instant noodles minus the flavor. I just boil fish curry powder with coconut milk adding to it crushed ginger root and onions. Then i add the noodles plus all the the garnishing that I want.

I grill/bbq my food often. To make sure my chicken or meat does not burn on the grill, I usually cook the beef or chicken first in the bbq sauce. If I am realy really lazy I just microwave the meats in the sauce. Then only I put them on the grill just to get the meat get dried and get the mark on them.

To have nicely cooked baked potatoes on the table at the same time as your bbq meat/chicken. Clean and dry the baking potatoes, then microwave them for 8-10 minutes or until soft. Then take them out and wrap them in tin foil singly/separately. They are ready to eat.

To make your meal look classy, just boil/microwave asparagus and serve it with butter.

How many ways do you eat your cottage cheese

I was introduced to cheese eating when i was still young. My grandfather used to buy them whenever he went shopping at the one and only cold storage in Penang. That was way back in the 50's and 60's. The cheese and butter came in those gold colored cans that I can't remember the brand. It is called iceberg or something. I also remember my father liked melted cheese on his roti bangali but my mother did not like even the smell of it especially when she was pregnant.

Later in that period of time, the cheese and butter were hard to come by and my grandfather did not make many more trips to the cold storage as the estate he was managing had changed ownership. So, I think after the early 60's we did not eat 'western' anymore. Then there was planta margarine.

When I was studying in London circa 70's I hated having to pass the cheese department of Sainsbury on Holloway road to get to the bus stand on Seven Sisters road. The smell could give me a bad headache. I did like the soft cheese and gouda or edam. Back in Malaysia, I could not find any decent cheese to eat. There was cheddar from Australia that sucks and tasted like fermented rubber, so I quit eating cheese.

When I was in Hawaii in the 80's I found that American cheese are yummy. Found that their cottage cheese is not like those imported from Australia. (probably very old imported stock that are sold in Malaysia).

I like to eat cottage cheese in a variety of ways. When I was in Uzbekistan, I bought cottage cheese by the bucket (that was how it was sold then) from the 'secret farmer' who kept his cows and operation hidden from the authority. I ate it in salad, I ate it with salt and pepper, I ate it with home made preserved fruits etc. because that was the only luxury food i could find then. I bought home churned butter too to eat with pon their kind of bread.

My husband eats his cottage cheese with pineapple chunks sprinkled with salt and black pepper for breakfast. I eat mine with cocktail fruits and nuts. I also eat it with sliced fruits sprinkled with salt and pepper. I have yet to try eat it with shrimps.

Baju Kurung

On my last visit to Malaya, I met with my best friend from school days. My friend and I sat next to each other in the classroom from Remove Class until Upper Six. Eight long years. The last time I met her when a friend and I did our round the peninsular drive in 1981 before I went to the East-West Center in Honolulu. She was teaching at this small town by the south china sea. She already started a family. She had three cute babies. We did keep up with each other but not met since then. It was during my last visit me met again after 27 years.

Right, we got to sit and talked about the good old days in a boarding school. We recalled that on certain night of the week we had to wear baju kurung for dinner. Baju kurung hijau. During that time there wasn't any ready-made baju kurung to buy and those tailors never heard of readily arranged pleats for the sarong. So most of us who were not originally from the southern part of the peninsular found it very challenging to make the pleats from the sarong and have the sarong tied securely.

During one of the night outings to see a talent time, a singing contest at the Dewan Jubli Intan, my friend and I wore the baju kurung. One of the contestants for the night was Sheikh Abdullah ( better known as Datuk Sheikh now). I think one of the contestants was my classmates. We went to cheer my classmate. We got all excited and clapped and stood and jumped i guess, and I discovered I was standing with my sarong on the floor. What a shock. Luckily all of us were standing and I managed to scoop up my offending sarong and tried my best to fix it the way the northern people wear, like real sarong. At that time I swore I would never wear baju kurung again for outing. I would stick to my green gingham pinafore school uniform.

My new wheels

We just got this pickup last week. I like it. I feel tall driving it. Have to literally climb into it.

Rombongan

What is wrong with that word? It used to be alright to use it to mean moving in a group. My mother used to go on a rombongan to Kuala Kangsar in the 60's. I used to go on school rombongan to visit educational places. Nowadays that term has a different connotation. That's what I just realized what a BIG mistake I made. I supposed I could have been forgiven by using that term since I belong to that generation that the word rombongan means something exciting to do with your friends.

I was in transit at Inchon, Seoul recently. We boarded the flight that was heading home to KLIA. Flights on the code sharing, called sky team. I was on Delta from Atlanta (DL), and there were passangers on MH and KE whom actually were sitting on KE aircraft KLIA bound.

I guess I was the only one who originated from Atlanta, GA and terminate at KLIA. When we boarded the aircraft, I could hear a familiar language spoken. Unmistakably, it was my mother tongue that I missed a lot. I was excited to talk to these group of people whom themselves sounded very excited with their trip to Seoul. They were loud and talking about their shopping etc. Some were even talking about making a similar trip to the US namely NYC.

In my excitement meeting this group, I turned around and asked in a very friendly manner "You all ni mai rombongan ka or ikut rombongan?" Then to my utter disbelief, everyone went silent. I did not know what I said that was so wrong. I thought these ladies were rude, they did not answer my question. I thought they did not hear me, I stood up and turned and asked the same question again to give them the benefit of the doubt. Again nobody said anything and I noticed nobody looked at me. Then I was confirmed that orang melayu memang rude.

I only learned later that the term rombongan is only referred to those group travels synonymous with makciks on a bus or coach trip. How out of date I am with my language. I supposed I have offended those ladies making their overseas trip sounded very kampong.

You learn something new everyday, don't you.

Some things just get old

Probably it is just me. I get tired of the same old things. I used to enjoy checking the website that brings together all Malays living away from home country. it was exciting to sit and chat and share our different experiences in our lives adopting our new environment. It was then a place where we share our sorrows, praying and comforting each other giving and having a shoulder to cry on. We extend our moral support. We encourage each other. We were a bunch of friends or more like sisters and brothers.

Things started to change when a group started to dominate the website and of course there were those bad apples. Those religious chauvinists with holier than thou attitude. There were then the subtle rivalry to control the website. The website began to stink and I no longer visit that place where i used to be so much at home. I missed those friends that I made and there are still some I still keep in touch.

I use to blog hop quite a bit, but recently i realized that i only go to some selected ones. I no longer want to know what people write or do that has no connection to my thinking. I do not deny though that I learned quite a bit about human behavior.

I realized that I must have had a very protected life. I am thankful that while growing up, I did not have to struggle for survival. I did not feel that i was deprived of love from my parents or my family even though most of my teenage years were spent in a boarding school. perhaps I was not looking for anybody to blame for my failure or shortcomings. It is so easy to blame someone else for our short comings or failure than to ourselves.

Many people blame their parents, their governments, their schools or everybody else rather than themselves for their predicaments. Actually it is an individual choice to be what we are. If we chose a cup instead of the coffee then do not blame the cup if the coffee is stale.

When I decide to marry someone out of my league (i.e. not wealthy), many question my choice. I did not feel I need to explain my reasons. However suffice to say I enjoy a most sensational flavored coffee in an old mug.

Seven Career Killers by John McPhee, Forbes.com

Avoiding these seven deadly sins will also help individuals balance their "whole life" and assure they are ready to take on new workplace challenges as they are presented -- and execute them well.

Deadly Workplace Sins

At least seven "deadly workplace sins" detail key emotional offenses professionals should avoid at all costs to better assure upward career mobility. A few common sense tips will help aspiring pros get on the path to the ever-elusive paycheck promise land.

Pride
First, there's pride. Far too many who experience "workplace wins" take full credit for these achievements, regardless of any support or assistance received in the process. What often goes unrecognized is that people around, and especially below, the serially solo-successful resent the egocentricity, and may actually begin to actively undermine that person's efforts in the future. While one's pride wants all due recognition, a team philosophy can build the grass-roots support that can fast-track a career. Indeed, a dose of acknowledgment of and appreciation for one's peers and subordinates, so they may share in some of the glory, can go a long way to foster one's long-term success.

Envy
Moreover, while it's OK to recognize other individuals or organizations as they achieve, lamenting "what should have been yours" can be destructive and can adversely impact your own ability to focus on the job tasks at hand. Becoming envious of others in the workplace can sabotage your self esteem, which is one vital characteristic of every successful worker or executive. Rather than being envious, let the accomplishments of others become motivational fuel for your fire in working toward your own successes.
Anger
Anger is another motion that needs to be held in check. Begetting nothing but disagreement, dispute, tension or conflict, anger provides no benefit in the workplace. There is simply nothing productive about anger, which impairs one's objectivity, poise and self control. Don't let a bout of righteousness damage your reputation and image in the workplace. It's fine to feel passionately about your job or a project at hand and to disagree with others, but learn how to channel those emotions into actions that will work to your benefit in the eyes of others -- especially your superiors -- rather than against it. Those prone to angry outbursts rarely get promoted; they are seen as being poor leaders who cannot inspire or motivate others.

Short-sightedness
One's selfish desire for "more, sooner" is what motivates many in the Western culture to achieve their career goals. But taking this notion to the extreme can and will be self defeating as core values become misguided and life becomes unbalanced in the process. The road to success requires a long term approach in all aspects of one's job duties. Those laser-focused on quick, short-term gains may do well for the moment, but will be ill-prepared to take things to the next level.
Complacency
At the other end of the spectrum, sloth, or simply put, complacency and laziness have no place whatsoever in the workplace -- especially for those with high aspirations. Expecting one's past achievements and successes to carry them forward in their long-term career is imprudent. Today's uber-competitive global marketplace ensures that only those who continue to grow, evolve and make fresh contributions of value will succeed. In a global environment where outsourcing is becoming a norm, everyone at all levels of the employment "food chain" is now replaceable. So treat every work day and every project as if your job, and your future at large, depends on it. It very well may.
Imbalance
Many individuals move up the corporate ladder so fast that they actually end up failing as a consequence. More isn't always better -- especially if you're not ready for the challenge at hand. It's important to ensure that you are not only professionally ready to take on a new and bigger challenge, for which expectations are equally bigger, but also that your personal life is ready for the new demands and strains to be placed upon it. Achieving career success also includes maintaining a life balance, and a misplaced professional desire can create a backlash both at home as well as amid peers for your perceived obsessiveness.

Lust
At times this can spill over to lust. An overly intense desire for what others have achieved at work, or being chronically dissatisfied with one's own status, is a surefire career killer. Spending an inordinate amount of time fixated on what you don't have rather than what you do will foster a bad attitude and negative overall demeanor.

Above all, one's overall "presence" in the office plays a big part in who gets promoted and who doesn't. No matter how ambitious, it's prudent to be present and make the most out of your current position at this moment in time. Organizations recognize and reward those with a good attitude who make the most of a situation. Winners recognize other's success with sportsmanlike conduct, while at the same time exhibiting an air of confidence that they, and their team, will realize their own great achievements.

My rememberer

I notice that my forgetter is working overtime now, but my rememberer is working good as well. They are however work best at different time zone.

I forget what i wanted to do 3 minutes ago, but I remember clearly what happen when i was a child. Is this normal?

As i was sitting at some nice comfortable place, I entertained my wondering mind. I remember those days when I was a child. There was this incident so long ago that made me so humble and taught me a very good way to appreciate what I have.


I was at a boarding school, and during term break we got to ride the train for 24 hours to get home for 3 weeks. During those term break i always hang out with my former primary school friends. I would cycle for a few miles just to visit them and they would come and sleep over as well. I don't remember sleeping over too much, but I have friends slept over at my house (grandparents) all the time.

There was one time I was invited to break fast and dinner at one of my close friends house. I was happy to go and i guess my friend was happy to have me as I hardly go eat dinner at peoples' houses very often. I was humbled to see what was on the table for breaking the fast. There was only 2 dishes or was it 3. I remember there were 3 fried fish, a bowl of sayur lemak kangkong and sambal belacan. The rice came and it was cold and it was the leftover. I loved the food, but i realised that there were 7 of us. They wanted me to start, so i did, luckily I could compute that the 3 fried fish were not meant for me to get one for myself. They have to be shared between 7 people.

I went home after that and told my grand mother about how meager the dinner fare was. There was no kueh and sweets for breaking the fast like we had at home and we had to share 3 fish between 7 of us. I think my grand parents were a bit excessive with food on the table especially during the fasting month. We never have leftover rice for dinner, it had to be freshly cooked. We usually have a few dishes on the table to go with the rice. There is normally be a curry (meat or chicken or fish) Fried fish or chicken or beef and vegetables and sambal and acar rampai or acar ikan (ikan masak cuka). There is always the dadih manis or agar-agar for dessert. During the fasting month there would be table full of kueh2. Buah melaka, tepung bungkus, plus the usual desserts and of course there would be pisang mas and tembikai.

My grandmother would outsource the making of these kueh2, she would provide the flour, sugar and coconut to neighbours and in the evening, we would have them for breaking fast. My grandmother would cook all those beef, lamb, mutton, chicken and fish dishes. I love pesamah kambing or lembu. I love kari kepala ikan plotan and isi.

Well, what i was getting at was that in the late 1950's, 60's and 70's, there were a lot of poor households in my village. I never realized that until that dinner at my friend's house. I did not know that i had such a privileged childhood.

My rememberer is broke (broken)

I got this in an email.

My forgetter's getting better,
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke

For when I'm "here" I'm wondering
If I really should be "there"
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room,
and Say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain!
A zero, is my score.

At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,
Say! "Hi" and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, "who was that?"

Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke.

CAN YOU RELATE???

Hijrah-1

I feel challenged to write my thoughts on hijrah. I feel i need to write about it in relation to everyday life. I am a lazy blogger, but i blog hopped to many. There are blogs that are matured and makes a good reading as well as enlighten my outlook of life. There are blogs that the owners say they write to vent their bottled up frustrations, there are blogs that serve as a life journal to the owners and of course there blogs that are seriously political.

I do read the column di celah-celah kehidupan in Mingguan Malaysia and I feel that those who shared their stories are brave people. They found an avenue to share their unhappiness when there in no one close enough would listen to them. Most of them are women who are mistreated, abused and are left in despair.

Most of the stories are failed marriages. marriages that were built in good faith in the name of Allah. Expectations at the beginning into the marriages were high. The couple that tied the knots were expecting happy ever after.

Women, especially think they can live on love alone. They will marry for love, they stay in a broken marriage for love, they hurt their parents for love. For time in memorial, love does not hold a lot in a marriage. Responsibility, compassions come first in a marriage. Anyway, I almost forget, of course the reasons for getting married itself.

I do wonder if those women did any homework about marriage before they plunged into it. The first thing a person should do is to understand and read about what constitute a marriage, what bind in a marriage. No no no..don't listen to all the uztaz giving the ceramah. Go to the our reference Book. The al-Quran. Go read the surah al-Baqarah. Go to the hadith, but first go to the main source. Understand what marriage is all about. Understand what responsibilities that come with it.

Know the person you want to marry. Know his aspirations, know his bad habits. Know those stuff that would make your marriage gets a hiccup. It does not work when you say you want to marry a religious person, and the guy is so engrossed in his religious thingy that you think would help you. That is a big no no. You have already chosen the wrong guy. You already know that you and family will never be the first in his life. it is himself that is of utmost important to him.
A very selfish person is staring straight into your face.

What is so wrong with relationship is that most women think they can change their spouses character with love and devotion. Get this, that never happens!

For you all the women out there who want a partner in life, use your heads first before plunging into the imagined happy ever after relationship.

I went into marriage with my eyes wide open. I married very late though because it was my choice. I did away with all the cravings that young and impressionable women have first.

Money checked
House checked
Education checked
Car checked
High lifestyle checked
Good job checked
Work fulfillment checked
Travel checked

What i was lacking was a companion to enjoy simple life. The life i would like to share minus his baggage such as debts, emotional and responsibilities other than towards me.

Found one, not rolling in green, but have enough to enjoy the little things together. Simple things that make a day worth counting the blessing.

Hijrah

Hijrah means different things for different people. To most, it was the year the great prophet pbuh moved from the oppressing society in Makkah to a more receptive populace of Madinah. It was the main turning point for the prophet to preach Islam the religion of submission to the highest authority, the one and only Allah. He brought light and knowledge to the people of Madinah and a good government to a multi ethnics, multi religions and multi culture population of the place. There was freedom for the people.

Hijrah to me means moving on from a stagnant life to a more enlighten way of life. I do not mean in religious pursuant only, I mean in our everyday life. The real life. Allah has given us a mind that is so dynamic that can think and make decisions. Allah has given us the al-Quran to read and follow the good path, the correct one, yet the good brain Allah gives us, we misuse it. We build barriers around us. We short change the goodness in the Quran. We use Allah's words in vain. We use Allha's name in vain.

There is no my way or your way in practicing the religion. There is only one way, Allah's way. It pains me to see all those who called themselves good Muslims, actually are not practicing the religion the way it is supposed to be. There is no compassion in their dakwah, no compassions for their wife and children. They are actually very selfish individuals. They wanted so much to be with God, they forget their wives and children. Their duty in this life.

Just because you finished reading the al-Quran 10 times, doesn't mean you know anything about the content or the knowledge in it. You can tell people that my daughter can memorize surah Yassin at 6 years of age and be so proud of it, but do you realize that a child of that age can hardly comprehend anything. To me it is better that i take the Quran out read it a few sentences and understand the meaning of what i read. It takes us a few months for my husband and me to read the first chapter of the Quran with the translation and the explanation to grasp the meaning of the chapter. We still refer to it when we want clarification. At least the part of marriage, property and responsibility are quite clear to us. For us we just want to understand the basic teaching of the great religion. We leave the finer points to those who are more knowledgeable than us.

Well, to me hijrah is a time for us to look aback at our lives and move forward. Have a freedom to think and not be scared to move on.

Happy holidays

This year, the gathering was at my place. Ever since my mother in law passed on, it was always at my place. My husband, being the oldest of the three siblings often offers our place as the venue.

Winter wonderland

Maybe I should begin now

I think I have enough stuff to begin my project. I have to start at some point don't I?It was something I wanted to do since I quit my job. It is just a simple thing that does not need a real brain.
Before I go and hibernate to do my project, I would like to wish everybody a merry and joyful end of year celebration from us Mr and Mrs Beach.

Of a grown-up Nutkin

I guess Nutkin the happy hopping squirrel has grown up after all. I am glad he made through last winter and through spring and summer. Now, in the late Fall I see him still at his antics. There is this hickory tree next to my deck in front of the house that every year made plenty of nuts. This is the tree that Nutkin and his furry cousins like to play and collect nuts from. They say hickory nuts (the meat in it) is second to none. They taste better than walnut or pecan. The only problem we human have is that the meat in it is so little and not worth cracking them up. Not with the squirrels which have little sharp teeth that can nibble the thick hard nut in seconds to get to the tasty meat.

Recently I saw Nutkin playing chase me around the tree with his cousins and friends. It was fascinating to see them chasing each other. They circle the tree trunk by hanging on to each other's tail. they go round and round up and down. They look so fat in their shiny brown coat. Their bright eyes look so intelligent and so happy.

They like to tease the dogs. Now that Buddy has the whole front yard to himself, the squirrels have to make a detour every time they want to get to the hickory tree. They just run near enough to excite Buddy and jump on to the tree. That makes buddy mad and that makes Nutkin and his cousins and friends jubilant. I could see that Nutkin and his friends were applauding themselves. I guess danger makes life more exciting even to the critters.

of being a woman

being a woman is really really difficult, don't you think?. Actually it became difficult the moment you realized that you are a female, a girl. There were all kinds of expectations from you. You have to dress like a girl, you have to behave like a girl etc. etc. I still cannot figure it out yet. When I was young, and have not reached puberty yet, I was playing with kids my age, swimming in the irrigation canals climbing peoples' jambu trees and catching fighting fish from morning until dusk.

Then I went to an all girls school. I made friends and expected to be just like my old friends, but when you get to mix with girls of different ages, things were different.
Things like you used to do, holding hands while walking was frowned upon. You were looked at differently when you shared your bed with your buddy. How could a year difference from your previous life be so different. Going to school tuck shop and the gym together were thought that you were weird. That was sad. Very sad for a 12 year old who did not understand why others talked about her and her friend. Nobody came forward to explain why. Later she learnt that straight girls don't have another girl as a close friend. Then what is a straight girl?

Then when you get older and in college or university, you were expected to have a boy friend. There must be something wrong with you if you do not grab a boy friend in the first week of your life in a college. I was devastated for there was not a single boy in my college I wanted to hook up with. I wanted some friends not a single senior boy to hang with. I had some friends though who were in the same boat so we sort of have a 'gang'. That saved me for a while. Don't get me wrong, I did go out a few times with someone, but I was not comfortable to have myself labeled as so and so girl. All I wanted were a group of friends, sincere in friendship and have no hidden agenda.

Peer pressure was very strong. If you are staying in your room on a Saturday night, you are labeled as 'poor girl' that no body wanted to take out. By your final year you were expected to graduate with a steady boyfriend who would be you husband. If you did not find a potential husband in your university years, you were doomed.

I was one. I did not find anyone I wanted to be with for eternity. Hey, I wanted one, but none came close to my criteria. I do have plenty of men friends that I wanted them to be my friends.

After you got your first job the pressure for you to get a partner in life was even stronger. All kinds of pressures came your way. They came from your friends, your family and from anybody. This is the real one. When you start rooming with another girl, you are thought to have unhealthy relationship. Of course as 2 people living in the same house, you share a lot of things in common. You go shopping together, you go to eat together, you go to see movies together. You take holidays together. Why not, you live together.

Now all the well meant friends you think you have are looking at your relationship from a different angle. They start to piece things together. They make assumption that since you never have a lasting relationship with a man, you must be on the other side of the wall. You are different you prefer feminine relationship. What is wrong with preferring to have close friendship with a person of the same gender?

Then again, once you got married, you are pressured to have children, no matter what. Nobody cares about your personal wish. When I said that I did not want any children, nobody believed me. Women want to be mothers, they want children. Well, get this, This woman does not.

Then there are divorced women. They were made to look like they were useless and society want to punish them like they deserved to be divorced. Then they were made to be targets of all accusations. They would be out to steal your husband, they have to be watched. What kind of evil thoughts people who consider themselves good have.

It is hard to be a woman in a blinkered society.

About Raya

Usually for Raya i don't do any preparation except confirming the day and time for prayer at the nearest mosque. However this year it was a little different. A couple of Malaysian called and said that they would make their way to my house. So, I prepared lemang, rendang, ketupat nasi impit, kuah kacang and a couple of tradtional cookies. On the eve of raya, one called and said they would not be able to make the trip after all. They would try to make it the next weekend. Well, i was left with lemang and all the above. If I knew a couple of days earlier i would not have made all those stuff. For the whole week I ate my raya food. Then I re do the preparation the next weekend.

The second week of Raya I got a package of goodies from my brother and sister in law. I once told somewhere in my blog that I do not make cookies and raya goodies so that I don't have to feel the "loss" or that there was something to celebrate after the prayer. I appreciate the goodies and now I have plenty of raya goodies to last me until raya haji.

Fall is here but the leaves are still green and I bet there will not be a colorful Fall. What i see now, the leaves turn brown from green, not turning into yellow, then orange and then red before turning brown and then blown off the trees.

This fall, there are plenty of pecans and walnuts as well as hickory nuts. The squirrels are having a nutty party every where. I can't recognize Nutkin anymore. he and his cousins are so fat and probably Nutkin is a female after all.

My dogs have grown their winter coats and wearing them. My chicken have regrown their feathers as well. So everyone is looking forward to winter.

All my precious plants are transplanted into little pots ready to get into the house. Right now they move in the garage at night and out in the sun during the day.

Happy Birthday Max

My puppy Maximilian or Max for short is 3 years old today. It was like yesterday when he was first brought home in a blanket. A ball of white fluffy fur and big blue eyes. He is now all grown, 2 and half feet tall and weighing more than a hundred lbs.

A loving and protective puppy. I still think he does not realize that he is a big dog now. He still thinks he can jump up into my arms and smothered me with kisses. Only the other day he cuddled me and broke my glasses. He walks behind me all the time and sometimes even steps on to my shoes. Never very far from me.

I love him....Happy Birthday Max, my lovable puppy.