Losing touch with my mother tongue, am I?

To my horror I discovered that i lost touch with my mother tongue, the first few days I arrived in Malaysia. I knew what i wanted to say, but the sentences did not come out right. The simplest thing like asking a receptionist, on how much
the fare to KL from KLIA stumped me. I went like " berapa harga nak ke KL dan cara mana yg terbaik" sounded so foreign even to my very own ears. I could not compute in my head, the way people 'normally ask". I was ashamed as well as felt lost for a while. Three days in KL I could muster enough courage to go on my Penang accent. Then I felt at home.

It felt bad that i could not communicate in my colloquial language. It was not so bad to communicate with hotel receptionists or sales persons, but I was not comfortable talking to friends. I did not want them to think that I was putting on airs by refusing to speak in bahasa melayu. I tried to explain, but i do not think that they could empathize with me

I could think in my head what to say in malay and even have personal conversations in malay in my head, but it was hard to speak it out loud. I could even chat in malay most time on the internet. believe me it was different when you have not used the language verbally for quite a while.