Mak aku...My mother

AN's blog's on her Mak touches my heart. Until now I still could not make me write about my mother. I love my mother very much. Too much to bare what is in my heart. I wish I told her millions time how much I love her. Now that she is no longer with us. I sometime wonder, if my mother is still around, would I married a foreigner?, leave the country or get married at all. All I wanted to do was to take care of my mother. I knew she had had a very hard life when she was young and growing. Although her father was a rich man, she never get to taste that kind of life. Being the youngest sibling she was being pushed from one household to another after her mother died and her father remarried to a (Tengku). She was left with her grandmother, then her big sister and she never went to school although her father (my grand father) was educated. (My grand father went to the same school as Tunku Abdul Rahman Putra and classmates). My mother learnt to read and write Jawi through learning The Koran and learnt the Rumi by reading her brother's books and learnt english much later when my sister went to 'english school'..very basic english, so that she knew what my sister was studying. I lived mostly with my grandparents.
What saddened me most was when i saw my mother cried one day. My late grand father's second wife relative came to find my mother to ask for money to pay for the cukai tanah, if not paid would be lelong/auctioned off. My mother cried because all these years nobody told her that her father left a lot of harta and her step mother and her relatives have been 'makan harta anak yatim'. I guess when men got a new wife, they automatically forget that they still have children.
My mother asked me what should she do...the amount of the cukai takberbayar was almost RM30,000.00. I told her, forget about it. let it be auctioned off. Those who have benefitted from the ladang getah and dusun tu, should pay because they were the one who got all the hasil all these years..berpuluh tahun makan harta nak yatim.
So, since then i promise myself that i would never hurt my mother and would take care of her. She would come first in my life. Alhamdulillah, i think i did that. I took care of her all the 6 months she was ill with cancer. made her happy and i think I managed to make her know that i really love her eventhough not in so many words.
There are a lot of things i sanjung about my mother, but i just can't put them in words. I keep it deep in my heart.