Being home?

I am just catching up with Pok Ku's blog. Where is home? For a long time since I relocated to my present place, I used to refer to home being in Penang. Until not so long ago, I had been referring to my present home to my husband as 'your house'. My husband was always quick to correct me that this is my home too. It did not sink into my thick head that i hurt my husband's feeling for not accepting his humble abode as mine too. It was kind of hard to assume someone else's property as mine. I have been a career woman all my life, I earned what I have. I respect other people's possession and property. One day, My husband took me to the court house and made me signed on the dotted line that I am part owner of the property and the 300 acres mineral rights that is under his name. He rationalised it by saying that, it is the same thing, because in Oklahoma, when the husband dies, all property goes to the wife.
So, now I have 2 homes. I no longer go 'home' to Penang, instead I go visit my family in Penang. Indeed i no longer have a home in penang. My house is rented out and rumah pusaka is empty after my father died in 2003. My brother and sisters have their own homes. So, where is my home in Malaysia? On one trip visiting family by myself, I felt so lonely and I was ready to go 'home' to my husband. I understand that my family have their own lives to take care and I felt that one can feel lonely even in a family crowd. A week or so with them, would be fine because they could give their time and attention to you, but for a month?
I learnt that 'home' is where your heart is. Although I am away from my 'birth family' I am indeed closer to them without getting into each other's hair. We communicate very regularly, probably more regular than when i was in Malaysia. I now love my 'home'. I love what we have done to the place eventhough there are a lot of things need to be done on this homestead. This is my home now.

Cromwell, OK updates - Population 350

Population of Cromwell has been updated to 350. A month or so ago, the fact sheet said it was 265. Since the first tornado touch down last week, the TV qouted that the population is 350. An increase of 95 people. When I first moved here, our nearest neighbour was the Pierce, about 1/2 a mile south west of us. Now there are 5 more families have settled south and east of us. South and west of us used to be wide open space of hay and grazing fields. A few months back the property owner have put up 2 houses for his children just south of us (1/8 of a mile). Our property used to be the last one on top of the hill on a dead end road, south NS364 grid. The dirt road has now been extended to accomodate the 2 new households traffics. Powerlines poles are now transversing the road along our property. Ditches were dug along our fence line to connect telephone lines. Things were quiet before, but now it looks like our privacy have been encroached and invaded. There are quite a bit of traffic with loud blasting music from the cars that drive by the road now. Weekly loud parties with music so loud that the cayotes that used to roam the area have kept away. My dogs are still getting used to the 'heavy traffic' and the loud music. My guard dogs are confused now, as they are kept busy barking at all the movements in the neighbouring property.
We have even put up a light near the gate as to keep the neighbour's visitors from straying into our yard. And our gate has to be closed all the time. We removed our electronic remote sensor from our gate because it kept going off with the 'heavy traffic'.
I have not made up my mind yet whether it is good to have more neighbours or not. So far, they are more of a nuisance than of comfort.

Things we take for granted pt.2

Actually my stay in Uzbekistan was an eye opener. It was a harsh country with harsh people. I first went there on a VIP ticket. Mind you there wasn't a first class in that aircraft. I can't remember what kind of aircraft that was, a russian made of course. When we arrived at Tashkent airport, the plane landed way out in the field. We had to wait for a long time for a transport to take us to the terminal building. While sitting in the aircraft, some people dressed in military uniform boarded the plane and shouted names to follow them. Mine was one of them. i was worried, but later found out, that holding a VIP ticket entitled me to ride in a van to the terminal building to go through the custom and immigration. I did not know how the rest of the passengers got to the terminal building. ( I found out later on my next trip).
It was a 6 hours flight, but it took 3 hours to clear customs and immigration. There wasn't any chair to sit on and we were all herded into a cage like place to wait, and wait and wait for the immigration to come and attend to us. After all was cleared, I went to meet the people who were waiting for me. There was a reception at 'my rented house' and i think all the people i was going to work with were there to welcome me. By then it was late at night, and very 'late' at night for people who originated east of Tashkent.
When i woke up the next morning, i could not find anything to eat or drink. i was scared to drink the tap water and i ransacked lastnight leftover and could not find a glass to drink from. The land lady had kept them away. the only glasses i found were fine czeck crystal glasses. There were many bowls though. I made tea and waited till it cools enough to pour into the fine crystals. later I discovered that people there drink tea in the porcelain bowls/tea cups. Coffee is only available in the balck market (learnt later).
The bathroom was alright, with the sitting bowl and the bidet. However, there was no toilet paper, the only paper I saw was brown paper cut into squares...later learnt that those were 'toiletpaper'.

to cont.

When in Oklahoma, respect the weather!

Yesterday was the first full day of spring and we were greeted with a tornado just above our head. It was a fine day and rather cool for a tornado to spawn, but being in Oklahoma, anything can happen in tornado season. My husband and I went to town to put our important documents in our bank safe box in anticipation of bad weather in spring time. Well, little did we know that the critter was spawning right behind us. When we got home, I turned on the TV just to watch the usual programme and my husband wanted to take a nap. He always feel tired after a trip to town (psychologically). I was clicking away to find a channel to watch and there came a warning on the screen that a severe thunderstorm was rapidly developing in our county. I told my husband about that but he said, the most it would just be lightning since the temperature was not condusive for a tornado. The temperature was about 60F or 15C. The next minute, the warning came again as we were under tornado warning and a big wall cloud was moving northeast to our direction, the town of Cromwell. I yelled at my husband that the critter is moving towards us at 30 miles per hour. He got up and we picked our important stuff and went out to our underground cellar. the there were the chicken and the dogs. the chicken could take care of themselves, but my dogs would not. So i called all the dogs and put them into the cellar. They must be traumatised to be pushed into the cellar. The lighning begun and the rain started. Then we closed the cellar with a big bolt. Then came the hails as it hit the ground and the metal door of the cellar, it was so loud and we could hear nothing. The dogs got scared and hid under the bed. It was for about 3 minutes. Then My husband went up to look. The ground was covered with hail stones, as white as snow. the sun was bright again and we saw the back of the tornado. There was even a couple of rainbows. It just missed us by a mile or so. It hit the town of Cromwell but there was no casualty, only some structural damage. I am so thankful that I turned on the TV. I was planning to take a nap too, but I just thought I might watch some TV first.
So we in Oklahoma learn to respect mother nature. Tornados can spawn in a few minutes when the right ingredients are present.

Things we take for granted

Before I embarked on an assignment in Tashkent Uzbekistan, I only had a vague idea where the country was. All I knew were those 'stan' countries are, somewhere on the otherside of the Himalayas. I read what little information I could find on the internet. Sounds interesting with a lot of history and being on the silk road and all. I must have been too adventurous, naive and ignorant put together to to take off to that landlocked country. My imagination was captured by the romance of Rustam and Zohrab and the greatness of Amir Timur on his big stallion roaming the plains.
Well, I took the job at a University in Tashkent. It was not so much of the job, which I learnt, but the whole way of life in a country that has been in the communist block. Of course I expected everything to be different, but i did not anticipate that everything is controlled. You shop for grocery at the government designated place. Buy your rationed food and you cannot choose what you want. If you are allowed so much beef for the week, that was what you get, bones and fat and all. You can't ask the butcher to trim the fat like we malaysian do at the butcher. You are allowed only a few pieces of 'pon' (bread) for a day and can't exceed the amount without question. Well, this is after Uzbekistan became an independent from USSR. Things were the same as before.
However, after a few months I was there, things looked a little different. We could shop at black market or at open market, but the attitude of shop assistants were still the the same. You would not be attended to, until the assistants finished their sembang. At one time I was so mad for being made to wait for a long time, i told the sale person that if she was in Malaysia, she would not have a job the next day. I like to give you an example how we take things for granted. I went to a government shopping place and i saw a shirt I wanted to buy for my land lady's son. The color was red, but I wanted a blue one desplayed behind the red one. The sale person would not sell me the blue one until she sold the red. The one on top had to be sold first!. All the merchandize were behind the counter, not hanged on racks like we are used to.
Little things that we take for granted are not so in Tashkent (during my stay there). Like I said before, we could not buy more than 4 pieces of bread in a day. Imagine that if you have more than 6 people living in a household. There was no easily available cooking oil nor was there plenty of food. For cooking oil my landlady used lard from the hump of the sheep. I got tired of eating 'soupa' or soup everyday of the week. Soup made of very fatty meat and yellow carrot, potatoes and onions. People there don't waste food. They ate all on their plate and wiped their plate clean with the bread.
to be continued

Gardening

When I first settled in Oklahoma, I thought gardening is something people do for fun. I thought people grow flowers around their house, but I discovered that gardening is a serious activity in spring. Now I am into it seriously too. Gardening can be exciting and rewarding as well. I enjoy planting and watch plants grow. We have half an acre of garden. I plant everything I can get my hands on. However It does not mean i eat all i plant...just happy to plant. Every year without fail we will plant tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, cili api and serai. These are the 'must plant' every year. I may add all vegetables that i think i would like to eat, all the greens, terong, asparagus, beets, you name it, I have them all in my garden. Bill has tilled the half acre garden last week and i already planted onions, garlic and potatoes. the rest i will plant later after winter ends. This year it will be a challenge since I also raise chicken...wonder if the chicken will share my garden too. My puppy, Max too is at that age that will dig anything that I plant. last week when I was planting the onions, he dug them up. He also ran away with my bag of benih. I hope he will listen to "NO" soon. He is only 5 months old. Wonder what we do with all the garden products? Some will be canned, some we will freeze them and some we just let them go back to the good dirt.

Cerita Haji

Orang kalau balik dari menunaikan fardu haji memang banyak bawak cerita aneh. Cerita saya bukan cerita aneh tapi cerita lucu. We went for haji ifrad, my parents and me and a friend HA. So our first destination was Madinah. All went well, except that the bus ride was just too long after the long wait and flight from Penang. cerita lucu ni, bermula bila we took a bus ride again to Mekah for the Wukuf. I am sure you have heard about the bus driver buat perangai mintak 'baksih" or some pocket money. The same thing happened to us. At first he stopped and came out collecting money. Some jemaah, did give sedekah they said. I did tell my group that Tabung haji must have paid all these drivers and we should not give him more. if we wanted to give, we sedekah at the end of our trip. I guess the driver became greedy and wanted more money, so after driving for a while he stopped again and this demanded more money or else he would not proceed to mekah. Some people became scared that they would not arrive in time. I was furious because 'my people' were being extorted. Nobody wanted to do anything, and the only thing they said was, 'bagilah". So, I stood up and said that 'no more baksih' until we arrive mekah. The driver was surprised that it came from a female. I told him to drive, but he refused...he went down the bus and disappeared. I talked to the passengers and told them if they wanted to give more money, collect it, and hold it as a carrot. I would tell the driver that we would give him the money after we arrived. he was angry. My next act was to get the ignition key to the bus. I told him I would drive to mekah if he wouldn't. He was cussing and cursing in a language i did not understand..biark pi lah...I also told him that my father could drive and i could read direction...
So after much angry words from him, he took the key from me and drove us to mekah.
Yang geram tu, bukan apa, geram sebab bus driver boleh bullied kita and i was not to be bullied by anyone

Things of the past

I write this so that it will not fade away. My childhood and my past that many can't associate and imagine now. Life was much different then. I was a kid growing up in the village and rubber estate. My grandfather was a rubber estate manager. Not a very big estate, but big enough to have a hundred or so workers. I grew up amongst the two-jobs villagers. In the morning they would go tap rubber and in the afternoon go and tend to their rice fields. I played with their kids and ate at their house. I don't know what happened to them now, but I would always remember that every end of Ramadan, my grandfather would load us all kids ( those who happened to be playing with me at the time) in his black Morris Minor to town to get new dresses and had our hair done (karan/permed). Some parents did not like their girls came home with a new hairstyle and a new dress (gown hehehe). However, my friends liked them. I think those girls are grandmothers now. I always wonder if they remember those good times we shared.
I only remember all the good times I had with my grandparents. I don't really remember where my parents were, but I learnt later that my father was working somewhere else and since my mother was still young, and could not cope with two babies, they left me with my grandparents. Much later, my parents came back and lived nearby and I enjoyed having my sister around.
I must have been a spoilt child because I owned a lot of toys compared to my other friends. I had beautiful lacy gowns and a few pairs of shoes. Once I thought I was rich because I found a few suit cases of duit jepun or duit pokok pisang in a store room. I was disappointed when I took to the kedai, that it was tak laku. I must be 5 or 6 yrs old. So my sister and I played kedai-kedai with the money.
Life in the estate can be quite fun. I remember, when a plot of rubber trees were being replanted, it was like a pesta.The villagers would ask permission to grow vegetables and such. There would be water melons patch, chillies, ubi kemili (ubi keling) and all sort of vegetables were grown by the villagers. I guess those cash crops brought side income. When harvesting water melons, it was like a village party. We would all go there and ate what water melons we can get our hands on. Another good time was when it was time to harvest ubi kemili. We are paid 20 sen per gantang to "korek ubi". We made some pocket money. I wonder if the same thing is still going on in rubber estates. My grandmother grew some real big pumpkins and I love sayur lemak labu merah. I love it cooked with shrimps until today. My grandmother sold some of them too.
Those were the days

hmmm shower

This evening my husband and I took a shower together. But the shower stopped in the midst of it. Someone would have to go and check the switch at the well pump. The alternate power switch at the well pump had been palying out a bit lately and needed to be changed. Mind you this is in the middle of a winter day. And the water pump is out in the yard. Guess who had to go? My poor husband had to go and turned the switch on again. Poor man, had to put on all the clothes and the coat with soap suds and shampoo and ran out of the house. The moral is when the switsh is acting up, better not shower together.

Roo

Roo is a special female Anatolian shepherd. She got the name Roo because I thought she was an Australian shepherd, thus Roo, short for kangaroo. She is a real blonde. Very unpredictable and very lovable. She may look very pretty for a shepherd, but she can be very protective towards whom she is protecting.
One morning she brought home a screaming deer bigger than her. On other occassions she brought home a quail, numerous rabbits, a squirrel, a possum and other critters. Rats and mice and gophers are not safe too. Roo would dig a trench just to get to a gopher. She is my girl. I love her very much. She was picked for me by my husband from a big litter. She was the smallest and timid one in the litter. She was a Xmas puppy and we brought her home on a cold snowy morning. She was so timid that she did not move in her box for the whole night. She did not cry and refused milk. We had to put her next to Bubba to give her some company and not to feel lonely. A few days after that she started to relax but still would not get into her house.
Now Roo is a grown dog of 4 years old, very maternal and very protective of her domain. She would protect Max from the roosters and any other harm. She would keep the chicken in the yard and would make sure they do not stray outside the gate. She knows how many chicken we have and would make sure that they are all in the coop at the end of the day. If one is missing, she would go around the yard looking for it until she is satisfied that all are in for the night.
Once I had a fall in the back garden, she immediately came to my side, sniffed me and sat beside me for a while. Then I asked her to go get my husband, she ran to the house and barked on the deck and ran back to me. She did that a few times, but my husband did not know what was happening. Later, I got up and held on to her and managed to walk home. I told my husband that the next time Roo come running home barking, something is not right.
That is my dog Roo. My friend and protector.

What is in a name?

Last night I talked to a young lady on an mirc channel where many of its members are Malaysians. After chatting for a while I asked for her name and she asked for mine. I introduced myself as so and so with my husband name attached. She commented that my name is pelik. I asked her what she meant by pelik. She answered that, it is an unbecoming trend for orang melayu to use their husband's name instead of the father's. She started to 'lecture' me of being ungrateful and discarding my father's name in order to be 'trendy or glamourous'. like I forget my culture and being Melayu.
I was not mad but I pity her for her small mindedness. Most Melayu women attached their husband's name to theirs for various reasons. Living in a country which is not familiar with the uniqueness of malay names, one has to adapt or adjust. I have to go on a lengthy explanation as to why I carry my husband's name to her. Official dealings made easier when my husband and me have the same name. For example I do not need to carry a sworn testimony as a proof of my marital status when claiming the health insurance, the military benefits, the current account etc. I once was refused medical insurance because I used my maiden name in the claim form.
This lady was not interested in listening to my explanation but was more on judging me. To her I was betraying my asal usul. Then she said, if I use my name that way for valid reasons? then it is ok as long as ; This is her exact words" tak apa lah kalau masih ikut landas2 islam" What's wrong with this small minded people? Do they equate that by having a hypen to my name I also do not practice my religion. I asked her what was she insinuating. She said "Tak lah, macam puasa tu buat kah? ". I wonder whether she knows that islam is practised worldwide not only confined to malaysia. She thinks those who choose to live outside malaysia automatically forget their background and religion. I can't understand an 'educated' person (she is working in an office) can have so much prejudices and negative assumptions.

My dogs

Every morning be it snowy or sunny except when it rains, my dogs and I will go for a walk in the woods. They keep me company as well as they amuse me. We would walk for an hour or so, and of course, the dogs don't really walk, they ran all over the place, hunting, chasing rabbits or other critters in the woods. Right now I have three dogs, used to be four, but Bubba died in December, 2004 of old age. Each of them has its character. Now there are Roo, Dumdum and Max. My dogs are supposed to be guard dogs, and yes they are. We have to put a sign on the gate to warn people that we have guard dogs on duty. There is one sign that people have to pay attention which says "My dogs can get to the gate in three seconds, can you?" people think that the sign is funny, until one guy walked up to the house and later found himself on a tree. My dogs have a reputation for being very good guard dogs. Of all, Bubba was the most respected dog in the neighbourhood. I missed that old dog.
Bubba, a Mastif Boxer, had a mean looking face. When he stared at you with his golden eyes , you would either fall inlove with him or know that he meant business. He gave the impression that he was watching you and your movement.
Well, I can go on and on talking about Bubba, but for now, I will take a break.

Being single : the good, the bad and the ugly

Been there, done that and even bought a t-shirt. It is either by choice or by circumstances that a woman remain single. In my case, it was by choice. I was too busy and focussed on my education and career that I put aside finding a partner. When I was at the University, the normal practice was to get a boyfriend. I did not get one in particular, but many whom until today still remain fast friends.

The Good
Being single and have a career was the best thing that happened to me. Have money, car, house and being able to travel and do whatever things I wanted to do with little hindrance. There was no guilty trips to deal with. No hassle of leaving behind a loving husband or babies behind when I decided to continue my education or to take an overseas assignment or to just go gallavanting all over the world. At home I did not need to stock my refrigerator thus no need to do the weekly trip to the wet market (Malaysians call it marketing). I did not cook, I bought food from the restaurants or gerai. The only cooking I did was zapping in the microwave.
I could go to the gym after work, I could play tennis in the morning before work and in the evening after work (that was during my love affair with tennis). I could choose whom I wanted to go out with or keep company and be by myself if i chose to.

The Bad
At times, I did feel lonely even amongst family and friends. This happens especially during the festivities particularly when my parents are no longer with us. All my siblings have their own families to mess with and I do not have anybody. That is the bad part. Other than that, live is fine.

The Ugly
The general idea of many people in our society is that when one is single, one is tak laku. So, many married women are weary of single career women. Look out, so and so is still single and talking to your husband, no matter if the husband happens to be a colleague. Another ugly side is being branded andartu, etc.

The merantau bug

Young and invincible and bitten by the merantau bug. That was me before I decided to retire. Three years after my first trip to the UK for my first post-graduate degree, I got the itch to be going somewhere again. Managed to secure a Macee-Fulbright award, I packed again to go Hawaii. Was there 1981-1982. Made many friends there, but sadly only kept in touch with a few. They were big names and no names, (who made names later) that passed the East-West Center in Honolulu. A great place to work.
Let me get organize alittle bit. I am lost after the above paragraph. I am trying to condense all my travels and sojourn into one piece of neatly packaged write up.
I have travelled all over the globe to satiate my craving for different places and cultures. I ventured out to places that not many people wanted to be in many circumstances. I went to Berlin just after the the Berlin wall came down with some still intact in many places. I went to Uzbekistan, just after it broke away from USSR. Call it naive or plain stupid, but i got the itch to go to these places before they change.
That is not bad huh for a girl came from a kampung. Thanks to my grandfather who had the vision to send me away to a boarding school way down south. Since then, there was no turning back.
Now, see where I ended up...in the boonies in the of southern plains in a town population 265.

Faraway land

When I begun secondary school, my grandfather gave me a geometry box, a metal one. It was like something one must have to battle mathematics in secondary school. I can't recall what instruments were in the box, but I distinctively remember the picture on the lid of of the box. My best friend and I dreamed to go and study there one day. It was none other than the impressive building of Oxford University in UK. We did not get to go there, instead we went to University of Malaya to obtain our first degrees.
However, I did get to go to the UK for my post graduate degree after graduating from University of Malaya. I have forgotten about the picture on the geometry box until I came across it while cleaning my room prior to the trip to UK. I had to smile. I was going there after all. That was in the year of 1976.

a bad day for my rooster

Today we said goodbye to my ever so arrogant rooster. He acquired a broken leg yesterday and we had to put him to sleep this morning. The broken leg was a courtesy to my husband's quickness with a stick. Dear rooster has been attacking me since he grew spurs on his legs. He would fly high up to my waist to attack me with his legs and spurs. It hurt even when he attacked the boots.
Yesterday when my husband was giving the feed the rooster attacked him, not once but a few times. The first few times, my husband just kicked him away, but the last one the rooster had his leg hit bad. I love animals. It does not matter what kinds they are, roosters, chicken, cows in the field or dogs. So, you can imagine how horrified I was when the rooster could not walk. I picked it up and knew that his leg was broken. Boy, I bawled like a baby. My heart just broke. I held my rooster in my arms for a long time and accusing my husband for being mean. I kept him warm for the night and, early this morning, my husband slaughterd him out of his misery. We buried him and I am still sad.

When the phone rings

Early this morning the phone rang. It was either a wrong number or a call bearing a not so good news. It was not a wrong number, but a sad news, an elderly aunt on my husband side was gravely ill at a nursing home. Had no time for shower, just add more clothes on and left. When we got there she has passed on. A jolly old lady, an affectionate aunt. Would never hurt a fly, loves bingo and food. Right now the thing I remember most is that she was the brave lady who asked for a second helping of my first ever attempt at making a chocolate chip banana bread. I wished I visited her more often when she was at the nursing home. The nursing home is just next to the 24 hours Super Wal*Mart that I often shop at. However, almost every time I went, she was always not in, taken home by one of her children. Then today we said goodbye to her, a very sweet lady.

When I first moved here, the odd hours phone rings meant that my family members and friends who are still not familiar with time differences are at the other end of the line. I looked forward to those untimely rings. However nowadays, it is different, mostly the rings are bearer of not so happy news. At my age, my elderly loved ones are in the sunset of their lives. I have to accept that. I have to expect more visits to hospitals and be ready for whatever consequences. Life goes on.

Angan-angan

When I decided to retire early, I had many plans. There were so many things to do. One of the first things I wanted to accomplish was to develop my writing skill. However I had no clue where to begin. I subscribed to Writer's journal, but it did not seem to be of great help.
This big idea remained the big idea. Two years after, there was still nothing to show. No take off. I started to surround myself with excuses. Of course they were many and handy. After all I just got married and have relocated to a strange land. I am in transition period. It is not a sin to enjoy newly wedded bliss and getting acquainted to my new environment. Getting adjusted takes time. So goes my comfortable excuses.
This is my sixth year, I have to get motivated. I have a list of ideas to write on, but which one to tackle first. I wanted to use my experience as a Librarian to embark on this writing idea. My training as a Librarian is not of much help as I was trained to be precise and concise. To condense a whole book into a 3 X 5 catalog card or now into just an entry. So much for background training.
Well, there is still tomorrow, I have the time and I have ideas!

My first

Just became a blogger!!